The Philippines claims to be a pro-marriage, family-first, Christian nation. It prohibits divorce in the name of moral and religious purity, and on paper, its family laws seem to protect faithful spouses, particularly fathers. But when tested in real-life betrayal, abandonment, and child custody conflict, those very laws collapse under the weight of institutional hypocrisy.
This post is a warning. A reality check. Not out of hatred, but out of hard-earned truth. If you’re a foreigner or a Filipino man planning to marry in the Philippines, read this before you become a victim of a legal illusion.
THE TRUTH: THE PHILIPPINES IS NOT PRO-MARRIAGE
They say they are pro-marriage because they ban divorce. But that is a lie on paper. In practice, they are:
- Pro-adultery (when the woman cheats)
- Pro-kidnapping (when the mother hides the child)
- Pro-family destruction (as long as it happens off-record)
- Pro-child abuse (when it’s psychological and not visible)
- Anti-father (especially if he tells the truth)
This isn’t speculation. This is based on real events. On a real marriage.
MY EXPERIENCE: FAITHFULNESS WAS A DEATH SENTENCE
I was faithful. My wife, Anngeneth Maylan Degillo Peterson, cheated. She left our child with me for long periods, abandoned her duties, and stayed with other men, even signing 6 month leases with one.
When I began moving out with our child to a better home, she used that moment to strike. Not for love, not for motherhood, but for revenge. With the help of her mother Equella (Lina) Maylan Degillo and their family, she coordinated a concealment.
She did it without a court order. Without custody. Without truth.
And all the officials helped her:
- Sacsac Barangay Captain Corazon S. Tindog: refused mediation, ignored my side.
- Barangay Secretary Karen T. Llano: refused to sign transparency receipts.
- Bacong Police Chief PMAJ Vann Joel C. Tingson: denied me the right to file a blotter multiple times.
- Unnamed Female Officer (Bacong Police): referred to DSWD as the prosecutor.
- DSWD Bacong / Dumaguete (Field Office 7): acted without any legal custody ruling, removed my child from me on my wife’s allegations alone with no fact finding or mediation.
- The Supreme Court of the Philippines: received notice. Deleted my emails and stayed silent.
THESE OFFICIALS VIOLATED MARRIAGE LAW
- Article 211 (joint parental authority): Ignored.
- Article 63 (effects of legal separation): Ignored.
- Article 213 (custody preference is conditional): Ignored.
- The Hague Convention (international child abduction): Violated.
Not one official verified facts. Not one asked if the mother had committed adultery. Not one asked who was caring for the child before the kidnapping.
They just believed her. She needed no evidence.
I, on the other hand, had to prove everything. And even then, they didn’t care.
PRO-MARRIAGE? THEN WHY DIDN’T THEY ASK ME?
If this country were truly pro-marriage, the Barangay, the DSWD, or the police would have come to me and asked:
“Are these allegations against you true?” “Do you have evidence that she abandoned you and your child?” “Do you have proof that she was unfaithful?”
But they didn’t. Because they don’t care about marriage. They care about whatever lie gets them off the hook fastest.
This country isn’t pro-marriage. It is pro-unaccountable women.
And if you’re the man trying to be a father, you will be crucified if you move on, even after betrayal, abandonment, and kidnapping.
TO ANY FOREIGNER OR MAN PLANNING TO MARRY A FILIPINA
Marrying a Filipina in the Philippines is not safe unless you:
- Choose a woman with integrity, honesty, and accountability
- Study her family values
- Observe how her parents treat each other, because she will model them
- Ensure she understands that yanking a child away from a loving father is abuse
- Understand that the law will not protect you when things go bad
You may think the law favors you as a father. It doesn’t. It favors narratives. And if she flips the narrative, every official will follow her lie, not your truth.
FINAL WORD
If this country truly respected marriage, my case would have been the ultimate test. The officials would have looked at the evidence. They would have held the mother accountable for her abandonment and infidelity. They would have protected the child from being taken by a woman with a documented pattern of emotional instability and neglect.
But they didn’t. They protected the lie.
So I ask again:
Do you really want to get married in a country where the laws are only for show? Do you want police officers who deny your rights to your face? Do you want social workers who act as judges without court orders? Do you want a court system that goes silent in the face of kidnapping?
If not, then be wise.
Marriage in the Philippines is a trap unless you marry a woman who honors it more than the state does.
This message is not anti-Filipina. It is anti-hypocrisy, pro-truth, pro-child, and pro-accountability.